On The Floor

Ronan left a rasher on the floor today. On the FLOOR!!! That is just unbelieveable if you ask me, which you didn't. But I'm telling you anyway. Ugh, disgusting.

On a funnier note there was a girl sleeping on the couch this morning and he walked in, in his boxers, scratching his chest. When he saw her his reaction was to exclaim, "Oh fuck!" and walk back out... Hilarious.

Today I Was A Pirate

You are The Cap'n!

Some men are born great, some achieve greatness and some slit the throats of any man that stands between them and the mantle of power. You never met a man you couldn't eviscerate. Not that mindless violence is the only avenue open to you - but why take an avenue when you have complete freeway access? You are the definitive Man of Action. You are James Bond in a blousy shirt and drawstring-fly pants. Your swash was buckled long ago and you have never been so sure of anything in your life as in your ability to bend everyone to your will. You will call anyone out and cut off their head if they show any sign of taking you on or backing down. You cannot be saddled with tedious underlings, but if one of your lieutenants shows an overly developed sense of ambition he may find more suitable accommodations in Davy Jones' locker. That is, of course, IF you notice him. You tend to be self absorbed - a weakness that may keep you from seeing enemies where they are and imagining them where they are not.

What's Yer Inner Pirate?
brought to you by The Official Talk Like A Pirate Web Site. Arrrrr!

My pirate name is:

Mad Sam Bonney

Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. You can be a little bit unpredictable, but a pirate's life is far from full of certainties, so that fits in pretty well. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
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More Stuff That I Am...

Yep, I was really bored....

You Are a Mermaid

You are a total daydreamer, and people tend to think you're flakier than you actually are. While your head is often in the clouds, you'll always come back to earth to help someone in need. Beyond being a caring person, you are also very intelligent and rational. You understand the connections of the universe better than almost anyone else.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

You Are Lightning

Beautiful yet dangerous People will stop and watch you when you appear Even though you're capable of random violence You are best known for: your power Your dominant state: performing

What Type of Weather Are You?

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness. Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connected to your soul. You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable. Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings. You have great vision and can be very insightful. In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself. Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend. You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer. Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

You Are 36% Abnormal

You are at medium risk for being a psychopath. It is somewhat likely that you have no soul. You are at high risk for having a borderline personality. It is very likely that you are a chaotic mess. You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection. You are at medium risk for having a social phobia. It is somewhat likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement. You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?

Your Quirk Factor: 65%

You're so quirky, it's hard for you to tell the difference between quirky and normal. No doubt about it, there's little about you that's "normal" or "average."

How Quirky Are You?

Snickers

Nutty and gooey - you always satisfy.

What Kind of Candy Are You?

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Cult Classic

Quirky, offbeat, and even a little campy - your life appeals to a select few. But if someone's obsessed with you, look out! Your fans are downright freaky. Your best movie matches: Office Space, Showgirls, The Big Lebowski

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"I dunno, press the button and find out."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

You Are 92% Bipolar

You have some serious ups and downs, maybe to the point of endangering your own life. Consult a doctor to see if you may truly have bipolar disorder.

Are You Bipolar?

Your Theme Song is Back in Black by AC/DC

"Back in black, I hit the sack, I've been too long, I'm glad to be back" Things sometimes get really crazy for you, and sometimes you have to get away from all the chaos. But each time you stage your comeback, it's even better than the last!

What's Your Theme Song?

You Are a Henna Gaijin!

You're not Japanese, but you wish you were! You can use chopsticks with your eyes closed, and you've memorized hundreds of Kanji. You even answer your phone "moshi moshi." While the number of anime videos you've seen is way higher than the number of dates you've been on, there's hope. Play the sexy, mysterous gaijin, and you'll have plenty of Japanese meat.

What's Your Japanese Subculture?

Your Animal Personality

Your Power Animal: Eagle Animal You Were in a Past Life: Whale You are active, a challenger, and optimistic. Hard-working, you are always working towards a set goal.

The Animal Personality Test

You Are a Glam Rocker!

You put the "show" in rock show with your larger than life self. No doubt, you are all about making good music... But what really gets you going is having an over the top show. Glitter, costumes, and wild hair are your thing - with some rock thrown in!

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

Your Personality Is Like Marijuana

You're laid back and easy going, so much so that taking a shower is often too much trouble for you! Nevertheless, you're quite popular, and many people enjoy your company. You're rarely turned down. You're prone to giggle fits, paranoia, and forgetting where you are exactly.

What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

You Are From the Moon

You can vibe with the steady rhythms of the Moon. You're in touch with your emotions and intuition. You possess a great, unmatched imagination - and an infinite memory. Ultra-sensitive, you feel at home anywhere (or with anyone). A total healer, you light the way in the dark for many.

What Planet Are You From?

Your Hidden Talent

You have the power to persuade and influence others. You're the type of person who can turn a whole room around. The potential for great leadership is there, as long as you don't abuse it. Always remember, you have a lot more power over people than you might think!

What's Your Hidden Talent?

My New Pet Hate

Couples. They're so annoying, especially the ones that go around showing off how in love they are. Like the couple on the bus the other day.

They got on, spent about ten minutes putting their stuff into the overhead compartments, then proceeded to ask me and the guy in front of me if we were willing to sit together cos they just couldn't bear to be separated. It's a HALF HOUR JOURNEY. We're not going to Antartica!!! It's Youghal to Cork City for God's sake. But no, they just HAD to sit together. And then they spent the rest of the journey fondling each other. God it was sickening...

And I couldn't've just dismissed it as foolish young love. These two were in their late twenties and had clearly been together for at least a year. I mean it's nice to know that love exists, I just think they're taking it to the extreme, pretending they can't go half an hour without sitting next to each other.

So couples, get a grip, or else I'll kill you all....

After The Weekend

I got back to my flat after the weekend to find the lights in the bathroom, the power to the cooker, and the heating system had been on all weekend... I'm not paying a penny of the extra electricity charge.

This Is Me Apparently...

I did some odd tests and these were the results...

You Are Kermit

Hi, ho! Lovable and friendly, you get along well with everyone you know. You're a big thinker, and sometimes you over think life's problems. Don't worry - everyone know's it's not easy being green. Just remember, time's fun when you're having flies!

The Muppet Personality Test

You Are a Look At Me Blogger!

Cute pics, blog drama, whatever it takes to get traffic. You're notorious ... either loved or hated by all!

What Kind of Blogger Are You?

You Should Rule Saturn

Saturn is a mysterious planet that can rarely be seen with the naked eye. You are perfect to rule Saturn because like its rings, you don't always follow the rules of nature. And like Saturn, to really be able to understand you, someone delve beyond your appearance. You are not an easy person to befriend. However, once you enter a friendship, you'll be a friend for life. You think slowly but deeply. You only gain great understanding after a situation has past.

What Planet Should You Rule?

You May Be a Bit Schizotypal...

A bit odd and socially isolated. You couldn't care less of what others think. And some of your beliefs are a little weird. Like that time you thought you were Jesus.

What Personality Disorder Are You?

You Are 44% Vain

You're a little vain, but more than anything you have a healthy amount of confidence. Thinking the world of yourself is great. Just don't think less of those who aren't as pretty as you!

How Vain Are You?

You Have A Type A- Personality

You are one of the most balanced people around Motivated and focused, you are good at getting what you want You rule at success, but success doesn't rule you. When it's playtime, you really know how to kick back Whether it's hanging out with friends or doing something you love! You live life to the fullest - encorporating the best of both worlds

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

You Are a Self Help Book!

While your advice is not always welcome... It's always right on target.

What Crappy Christmas Gift Are You?

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are calm and rational. You are also giving and kind - a great friend. You are easy going and trusting. However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

A Stranger's Just a Friend You Haven't Met

Don't you just love it when you make an unexpected new friend? It just puts a whole new gloss on life doesn't it? It really is brilliant. Of course it's better in real life, but I just met someone online.

She saw a comment I'd left on bebo, remarking on how bebo was getting a bad reputation cos of porn (this was beneath something that was clearly porn), and she asked me what bad stuff people were saying about it. I told her about a news report that'd been on BBC Northern Ireland about the ills of bebo. And from there we got talking.

It's just the pure randomness, the sheer unlikeliness of the whole thing that makes it great. From strangers to friends in minutes. I wanna make more friends right now!!! In university tomorrow, there's no holding back. New friends, here I come!

Goblins and Hobgoblins

The difference between goblins and hobgoblins is simple.

Goblins are malevolent and evil.

Hobgoblins are just mischievious and annoying.

The difference is slightly more boring than I'd anticipated, but at least I know now.

That picture's a goblin, by the way.

The Wonders of Pizza

After toast, pizza is probably one of the best foodstuffs in the world. Once made, it can be infinitely chilled and reheated, eaten at any time of the day, anywhere, without the need for cutlery or any other such nonsense. It's a near-perfect food that I love beyond many others. It can also have a wide range of toppings. And melted cheese is good with everything.

The one downside is the time that goes into making one. This is easily circumvented by buying a frozen pizza in a shop. In my opinion, these don't taste as good as homemade ones, but beggars can't be choosers. Unless they made their own at the weekend, froze it, and brought it back to Cork with them. Which I did. Mmmmm, pizza...

Today

I came home from lectures today and went to sleep cos I was knackered. Now I can't sleep cos I slept too much today. This doesn't bode well for tomorrow...

Keeping You Up To Date

Just keeping this up to date on Ronan. Today, for the first time since everyone else heard about it a year and a half ago, Ronan heard about the CIA renditions flights that were taking place across Europe.

He only heard about this due to the fact that he was watching the Panel. Had there not been a substandard comedy programme on he still wouldn't know. He thought this was a revelation and was wondering why the special guest was choosing a comedy panel show to break this news to us. He was even calling it an 'unlikey conspiracy,' to paraphrase the long and drawn out way in which he expressed this.

Three cheers for Ronan, who manages to be supremely ignorant of all that goes on around him. Hip hip, hurray. Hip hip, hurray. Hip hip, hurray....

Yu-Gi-Oh!

Yep, time for a rave.

First time I saw it I thought that it was a great idea. Any time anyone has a disagreement with someone else, out come the cards. It seemed a good alternative to knives or guns or blowdarts. Have a card battle, a game of skill and luck. And in the end, nobody comes out injured or dead.

It all fell apart almost immediately. The more sinister side to the duelling became apparent; the bizzare metaphysical stakes involved. I mean, why would you bet your soul on a card game? And why fight someone whos been going around duelling people to steal their souls by duelling them? Would you really take that risk?

If you really want to stop the man taking all the souls, call the police on him, punch him, SHOOT him, but for the love of God do not play him at his own game. That's just silly.

Of course there are always people who abuse the system. So I appeal to you, those of you who would use any kind of card game, board game, game of marbles, soccer match, any kind of field sport (team or otherwise), debating tournament, or other such activity, to steal peoples souls and imprison them in another realm until your power in unstoppable, think twice about what you're doing. Don't ruin it for the rest of us.

This appeal is especially directed at José Mourinho, who has already stolen the souls from his own players and wishes to do so to all others until he becomes all powerful. Please José, have a heart and release their souls, before it's too late.

I Need Some Sleep

It's impossible. I know most of my posts are really late night but it's gettin ridiculous at this stage. I love my sleep, but I can't get any.

I need some sleep,
I can't go on like this.
I've tried counting sheep,
But there's one I always miss.
Everyone says I'm getting down too low
Everyone says I've just got to let it go
Just got to let it go
Just got to let it go

What a legend of a song...

I think I should get back into writing poetry. It made me feel better than this blogging stuff, which I must admit is mildly amusing in many respects. I can't stop raving. It's a serious problem.

For example, Gary today mentioned people acting like children. I went on a long rant about how much of a big child I was. He then told me I'd get on great with his sister, who's in her 20s and still likes cartoons. I then spent a good ten minutes ranting about my love of cartoons. Then Gary said that it isn't just the old cartoons his sister likes, it's the new one too, the Japanese ones. I then spent the next ten minutes outlining the finer points of "Yu-Gi-Oh!".

It's things like that which define me, and equally those things upon which people form opinions of me. And when I'm ranting I'm not really thinking. Which I suppose is a good thing. But I should reserve it for people who know me better. No I shouldn't. People will know me faster if I rave the whole time. It's like being drunk and emotional but not. It's like a cascade of feeling about things. Don't get me started now. I'll be up all night. Oh who'm I kidding? I'll be up all night anyway.

Do You Need Anybody?

I need somebody to love.
Could it be anybody?
I just want someone to love.

Well actually I've already got someone to love. Unfortunately, as usual, there's no love comin back my way. So I'll settle for someone to hold. Any takers? Didn't think so...

I just wonder sometimes what I do wrong with girls. Maybe I shouldn't pull their hair. Or spit so often. And maybe they don't like it when I kick their pets or make them cry. Or shout in their ears when they fall asleep in my arms...

For any idiots out there, THIS POST WAS A JOKE. I never let them fall asleep in my arms. That might be uncomfortable for me. I make them sleep on the ground outside.

Why Won't You Laugh?

In my world, laughter is king. I love to make people laugh, and I know once I've done that people are comfortable with me. And I need to know that to feel comfortable with them.

I have so far only succeeded in making Niall laugh on more than one occasion and Diarmuid once. I'm not so comfortable here....

MTV Music Awards

Muse won something. Man am I appeased. Of course the rest was pure shite. Gnarls Barkley, most promising new artists? Right, I'll just kill myself now then.

What Would Jesus Do?

Almost two millenia ago, one man sacrificed himself for us, so that our sins may be forgiven, and that we may gain everlasting life in heaven (which is good enough for me just so long as I get to live forever). Is the world any better for it? No.

Our sins were forgiven about 2000 years ago, but we've built up another few since then. Some of the best wars have happened, some of the best murders and massacres. Some of the craziest cults have appeared to completely warp the core religious messages of every major religion, which is essentially the same in each. These cults include the major organised religions themselves, which are guilty of causing many major wars and such.

Today we have just as many, if not more problems than existed in the 1st century A.D. So my question is, what would Jesus do?

To answer this we need a second coming. Right here, right now. I give him the lowdown on what needs to be done, and he comes up with a game plan. The way I see it, he gets into the public eye, starts a band, gets into acting, that kinda thing. He could even do his own special effects. It must've taken them ages to do the entire water to wine scene in Bruce Almighty. Jesus comes with that natural ability. One take and you're away. Not to mention any movie where someone's brought back to life. No more need for acting like you're coming back to life. The producers can kill you and let Jesus do the rest.

Maybe the man himself'll have a better idea, but I dunno. Maybe he could be a standup comedian. It might suit him. He's Jewish, he's probably got a great sense of humour, and he could do jokes about how his mother was a virgin and actually mean it.

So anyway, once he does that and catches the public's eye, he starts spreading the good word. And this time he doesn't have to sacrifice himself for our sins. This time the sinners make the sacrifices. But only the big sinners cos, being omnipotent, neither God nor his son are petty enough to punish you for stealing sweets or using a swear word. Only the warmongerers, the murderers, the people who rob from the poor for their own benefits, will be made to sacrifice. They will have to step down from power, face the consequences of their actions, and get with the Jesus programme.

Organised religion will be made a bit more fun, the way it was intended by all those people who founded them. The new Pope will be black and release a funky pope music video with music by Faith No More. The Dalai Llama can stay as he is cos he's cool and fun already as a consequence of being kicked out of Tibet, which he will be allowed back into.

No more war, no more murder, no more of anything bad that puts me on a downer. I hope Jesus will be my friend...

My point is a dose of Jesus is what the world needs right about now. And not the boring kind of Jesus like in Mel Gibson's TERRIBLE remake of the Life of Brian. That was rubbish. The original was way funnier.

I Never Wanna Age, I Never Wanna Die

I've come to the conclusion, after much deliberation, that I don't ever want to be older. Furthermore, I never want to die. I want to stay 18 forever. I've weighed up the pros and cons and I know what I want.

Given the choice, and the proviso that a select group of my friends could also do so, I would choose immortality and everlasting youth. Why you may ask? Cos it kicks ass that's why!!! I love it as I am now, loath as I am to admit it. I want to be fresh and vibrant and jubilant and childish for the rest of my everlasting life.

It's not just the fun and games. It's the being able to enjoy everything forever. I would NOT get sick of it. No matter what anyone says. I'm not even sick of the Matrix yet and I've watched it at least 50 times. Same goes for Lord of the Rings. I don't even get sick of doing the washing up. I think it's funny to pretend that the plates are people I don't like and I'm drowning them and scrubbing them with a brush.

A real advantage to not dying would be the ability to "I told you so," a lot of other people. I have visions of me and my other immortal friends making bets on what's going to be the most popular religion in 189 years time or what country will start the next war. It'd be so much fun being able to see that kinda thing. You could also have the one up on all the little mortals. "Should we just give him the land to shut him up?"
"Well, that's what the League of Nations did with Hitler 1783 years ago and that started the Second World War. So I'd say no. Also, make sure he can't build a decent space fleet. Hitler built up his forces in secret, you don't want that happening here."
"Who are you and who let you into this meeting?"

See like that. And I know you could argue that the world could've ended by then but wouldn't it be something great just to be around for the end of it all, to see how it happens. I'd like to know and I'm willing to bet a lot of other people do too. So come on science and invent me a fountain of youth. I'll be your friend...

All Seems Yellow to the Jaundiced Eye

And to the eye that's been wearing purple, heart-shaped sunglasses for the last two hours. Yes I fixed them.. But when you take them off, the yellow that's been missing from everything suddenly seems so evident. It looks like everyone's got liver disease.

It also provokes the response of singing Donovan's "Mellow Yellow." Loudly. Until everything looks normal again. Which may take some minutes. Once it took an hour and a half. "They call me mellow yellow...(Quite rightly). They call me mellow yellow..."

You'd Swear I Was Musical

I now have two guitars, a violin, and a keyboard. My brother also has a guitar, and so does my mam. My other brother has drums. I can't play any of them to any sort of convincing degree. I can play the spoons if you like... Sort of. Or my nose. Mmmmm, mmm, mmm, mmm... No wait that's just humming.

Crotch

For the first time in conversation since I got here did someone reply to a comment I made in reference to my crotch. I keep forgetting that some people aren't as comfortable about saying that kinda thing as I am. I spilt some milk on myself and I said "aah, it's cold on my crotch!"

Anyway the important thing is that Niall responded by telling me it was gonna be smelly in the morning. I'm so happy. I've reached a new turning point. I think I'll have them feeling one another up by the end of the year...

The Eye of the Beholder

Okaaaayyyy, so today Ronan came out with the statement that there's nothing worse to see than two gay guys kissing. My first reaction was to tell him to get some perspective. He disagreed and said it was worse than ANYTHING.

So here's my list of things I'd rather seeing two gay guys kissing than:

1. Decapitation with a rusty knife.

2. Dead and mutilated anything.

3. Mouldy stuff.

4. Injured people.

5. Anyone I care about crying, sick, dying, in a bad mood.

6. Ronan naked.

7. Ronan kissing anyone. He doesn't look like he's good at it.

I could make this list much longer but I'm lazy. Basically you get my idea. I'm living with a bunch of people who have tunnel vision. Help!

Rage Against the Machine

The video player at home isn't working apparently. There goes my weekend...

Like a Stuck Record

Just as hard as it used to be keeping a vinyl record clean and unscratched (which I don't remember to be honest), it's harder to stop my flatmate Ronan from playing the same few songs OVER and OVER and OVER again.

Today I've been graced with the Dubliners, one of the most offensive bands ever to roam Éire. Maybe hearing them screaming "ooh aah up the RA, I said ooh aah up the RA," just the once wouldn't have been too bad, but FOUR TIMES? The IRA serve no purpose any more, and the biggest part's disbanded. But being from Tipperary and actually wanting Ulster back, he may just be the kind who thinks the IRA are still a solution. Or maybe he just has no musical balance (or taste if he listens to the Dubliners).

I seriously never thought I'd get sick of Snow Patrol. But he's played them to death. If I hear Chasing Cars one more time I swear I'll shoot myself. Lucky me that he doesn't like Set the Fire to the Third Bar (my current favourite Snow Patrol song from Eyes Open). I think it's cos he doesn't like female singers.

But it's not even just the music. I mean seriously, he was watching Home & Away yesterday and he described every single character as a fucking idiot. Every last one. "Why's she crying?"-him
"Because she got a serious burn in the fire and thinks she's ugly and the guy she just kissed didn't kiss her back and she thinks it cos she's too ugly."-me
"She's some fucking idiot!"-him

The girl has a serious mental problem. The people who were trying to help her were also "fuckin idiots." The guy who didn't kiss her was a "fucking idiot." The woman who was becoming an alcoholic after her mother or something died was a "fucking idiot." I'd think it was due to a lack of adjectives in Tipperary except I know other far more well-spoken Tipp people. I'd love to see him with a girl who was crying. "What's up with you?"
"I'm pregnant and I'm only 16. My parents will kill me."
"Shut up you fucking idiot!"

Charming and sensitive. But the real annoyance is that he seems to live through repetition. He plays the same songs over and over, says the same things over and over, even makes the very same sandwich every day at the same time. He's stuck in a routine that he can't get out of.

Stuck records are one thing, you can just move the needle on the record player. Stuck people are entirely different...

Shoes

If humans hadn't invented shoes would we have evolved super hard feet?

Girls Like Funny Guys

This is a lie.

Girls like guys who are good looking. Nothing else really matters. Try to deny it.

I've been told I'm a funny enough fella. I've been without a girlfriend for over two years. Nuff said.

Hallowe'en

I didn't really do the whole Hallowe'en thing this year. I mostly restricted my scaring people to the Saturday before it when I wandered around Dublin city centre wearing a hot pink Led Zeppelin tshirt. Which in itself was worth doing.

Though this year was my first Hallowe'en in a city. It was like Chechnya. Explosions, fires, shouting, constant noise, people running around everywhere. Bedlam. I loved it.

What I thought was great was the sudden decision of the Minister for Justice to raise the penalty for carrying fireworks (I know, it's illegal in Ireland. What kind of sick, twisted country is this?) from €6 to €10000. That's not including the possible 5 year prison sentence. Anyone who thinks this is a bit extreme put their hands up. Everyone? Thought so.

Everywhere else in the world is on the lookout for dangerous terrorists, the best we can do is imprison 15 year olds who want to have a bit of fun. All you have to do is control the fireworks. I mean, the British allow the good people of Northern Ireland fireworks for Hallowe'en. Most other times they're trying to take any remotely dangerous explosives away from that general area. I love fireworks. I want them now.

Other things my government won't let me have: Magic mushrooms. Now that's just ridiculous. One chap dies after jumping off a building after taking them (alongside copious amounts of alcohol and possibly other drugs) and they're banned. Following that reasoning, ban tobacco and alcohol too. They've killed far more people.

Broadband. In my Kilkenny home. Almost nationwide coverage my arse. If you hadn't sold the national provider to the Australians you might even be able to do something about it.

Fun. As soon as Anti-Social Behaviour Orders come in (which I'm sure they will), people are going to be reprimanded for things that aren't even crimes. In Britain one man was given an ASBO for being sarcastic to his neighbours. If he does it again he'll be arrested. Deadly. Suddenly everything's a punishable offence!

Hoodies. Well at least not in shops. Not that the security guards don't eye me suspiciously every time I go in anyway. I could go in wearing a lycra body suit and they'd still think I was attempting to steal goods and hide them on my personnage. And I'm no fan of body cavity searches.

Basically what I'm saying here is that I want fireworks (and magic mushrooms) and I think it's a travesty that I can't have them. That is all.